Santa? Rudolph was a Durti Riendeer who hung around with a DURTI elf...

Wow Christmas is here already? Were the heck does the time go? Another year gone and a new one filled with opportunites and great things ahead.

So many things have happened this year for me and LegareWear. My head is spinning today filled with all the things I have to consider.

What a wild ride it has been so far. The momentum is on and I have to keep on trucking...Durti? Is it a Durti word? Some people are afraid of the word, afraid to wear it?
To me that is a symbol of where they are at in their lives....fearful! Its just a word and whatever meaning YOU attach to it thats what it becomes for you!
It's a powerful thing our minds....put to good positive use they are amayzing.Listening to my nephew and the younger generation...OMG that makes me feel..ummmm? not old, just been around the world for a bit...lol!!
Gotta love wisdom!!
Anyways listening to them talk about sick and ill as postive terms to describe really great things,just makes me really realize even more its all how you think about it.
Generations can and have changed what a word means....DURTI is a powerful example of that.
I'm Durti and I am proud to be Durti! My peeps that are on board with LegareWear are some of the Durtiest people I know....just amayzing human beings!!
You have to be a strong powerful person to rock a "LegareWear" DurtiGurl or DurtiBoy hoody or the like. If your Brave enuff to wear one you will definalty feel the power of Durti! You will get wrapped in the Durti Spirit.
Durti is not for the masses, its for Determined, Unstoppable, Relentless, Tenacious and Irresistable peeps. You know the kind that everyone wants to be! Peeps that inspire others. The ones that are not sheep, they stand out from the crowd. They persue their goals and dreams despite there circumstances. The kind that keep on going when it would be easy to just give up. There the ones making their own paths and everytime they reach what others would call the finish line they have another goal to attain right around the corner.
Durti Boyz and Gurlz are the movers and shakers in this life. Not afraid to go for it! Not afraid to stand up for what they believe in.....Not afraid to dig in and get DURTI!
We are proud to have 4 athletes come on board with LegareWear:
Canada's First IFBB Bikini Pro Leigh Brandt ! This beautiful D.U.R.T.I Gurl is one of the most humble and amayzing women I know! Watch for Leigh to be rocking the Olympia stage soon!
Jayme Galloway "Arnold Amatuer Overall Figure Winner" has the Determined Tenacious spirit that is totally contagious!
Willa Potter Xtreme stuntwoman/actress! The only thing this TuffCookie hasnt done yet is be lit on fire! Thats because she is a lil fireball already! Watch for Willa on a TV near you soon sporting LegareWear on their reality TV show. The adventures on KTM motercyles from Alaska to South America....and just before that Willa will be rocking the fitness stage! This Gurl is D.U.R.T.I!!!
Mindy Karuk WNSO Pro and WBFF Figure Diva and Model! Mindy is one of the most Determined, Unstoppable peeps I have had the pleasure of getting to know, pretty sure if you look up the world unstoppable in the dictionary you will see Mindy's beautiful face! Look for this Irresistable DurtiGurl everywhere in 2011!!!
Durti peeps know that lighting another candle along the way does not diminish their own flame it makes it burn brighter!

LegareWear..."Wrap yourself in this!' You know you wanna..GET D.U.R.T.I

Judgements?

Wow everytime I get here it seems like forever since I've written. So many highs and lows in the adventures of the CinnamonGurl. I always try and take time to reflect and see the lessons I'm suppose to be learning.

I feel like Im spinning my wheels some days. I've been at this for a really long time and just when I think its taking off there is a huge set back.
I have to have these talks with my self about staying the course....its funny I always resort to what would i tell my clients?
So many people give up on their dreams never realizing how close they were to achieving them! I always think..someone else did it before me...I can do it to!
and then I think about the reason why I want the clothing to take off....I see Dennis' face and I can hear him laughing in my mind. " Laughing saying ya right sista as if you ever quit on anything you ever set your mind toooo....Hahahahahahah!" thats the whole spirit of LegareWear! I'll keep on plugging away at it! Its gonna happen.....

I think about people and how negative they can be...it's like they dont want to see me succeed? People saying things and making judgements about me and they dont even know me??? How weird is that? I know its the reality of the world and its a sad one!!Ive always been the kind of person to not judge....to always give, expecially to those who at times didnt realize that they had anything to give back. 10 years in the trenches with high risk youth defintely can put things into perspective. I ran into a kid...hahah a young woman that I used to have in my program. She saw me in the mall...big hugz! She has been at the same job for 7 years and has three kids...owns her own home!! Thanked me for changing her life??? Brings tears to my eyes....10 years ago when she was in my program.I just planted a seed thats all I did. Ninjad my way into her mind so to speak.. left a lil message you are somebody!
It was just the right timing for me cause.... Ever have those days where you just feel like your spirit is getting crushed? Those are the days I love my dogs more than people....and then once again there is Dennis in my head....ahhhhhh fall down 60 get up 61! Arrrrg!
Okay time to get busy .......gets up,dusts self off, puts on cape and dadadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa away I go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reflection?

Itchy throats are itchy? Its a tickle thats so not funny! Whenever I get not feeling well and have to stop I realize its my bodies way of telling me to take a step back. LMAo not even take a step back...friggin stop already!!
I tend to be a workaholic....is that even the right term?
My brain is constantly goin.....how can I do this? what would make that better? Tweek here tweet there....yada yada!
I preach be in the moments but some times Im in the next year!!! LMAO!
I love seeing people succeed...in whatever it is I they should succeed in.....LOL!! Was that a freudian slip.....I think not!
I always see potential in people! Sometimes even when they don't. Its what made me a great counsellor with teens high risk youth "actually.....the trick was getting them to see and recognize it themselves!
I believe thats what makes a great counsellor.....they dont tell you anything...they just help you to find it out for yourselves! They Empower you!!!!!
This is I believe what makes me a great trainer also! Empowerment is a powerful thing!...LOL!!!
Okay reflections over the past day or two....#1 Day time TV is brain rotting material.....
what the (&(*&*&*&T%&^%E$? Dr Oz..well he has a few intelligent things to say..... I dont watch TV usually and spending the day forcing myself to just REST was an exercise in itself.
#2 The gym has been such a love hate realtionship for me! We celebrated our 11th year.....OMG goin into our 11th year!!!!
I can remember when people told me I was nuts to open a gym in Aldergrove....LMAO!! Alot of people said that it would never work.....are you kidding me? It will work if I say its gonna work....and Ill keep on keepin on until it does!!!
I keep thinkin back to the days of construction, pinching myself evey day to make sure it was real!!
The first year holy crap batman....not only struggles of new business but a relationship with an alcohlic drug addict to....ya thats right you guys didnt know that part did ya???
My partner who opened the gym with me was an alcohlic drug addict/ great trainer. Its wierd he was one of the best trainers I ever knew who had this very EVIL other side to him.
Well needless to say being a drug addict is not condusive to running a business, so he had to go....before he stole everything in the place!!! That was a ruff one for me....wow? One day Ill write about that and you will be like thats so crazi know one could make that shit up!!!

So for the last 10 years Ive been running this huge Octopus....with its long far reaching arms an tentacles that reach out and grab you at all hours and anytime it feels like it! I have learned so much from this process!
At first I just wanted everyone to share in my passion of fitness!
Come come to the gym...get healthy...get happy...enjoy life!!! Hurry hurry let me share it with you!!!
and then the reality sets in....phone bill? hydro bill? gas bill? costco bill? equipment maintenance, tanning bed maitnenace, stereo, tv fix.....mats heavy bags classes,,cardio.....members want what? OMG!!!!!!! you want a deal? you cant pay this month but you still wanna use the club? you bounced your cheque but its our fault? ahhhhhhhhh!!! You can't see why I dont want you to drop the wieghts from two feet in the air? No iM not your mother, please put away your own wieghts.....Do i need to help you lift those?
Pretty sure the coffee shop next door is more sutiable for the lengthy cell phone conversation your having taking up a perfecty good bench! I didnt realize your time was more valuable than the rest of the members? oh ya and by the way.....your all fitness fanatx members in here..period!

you know the owner...lol yup so do I!
and seriously that has happened. Over the counter this person says to me I know the owner and "He" said I could get this deal! I burst out laughing...

People? you see the very worst and the very best? A smart ripped freak said that to me about another event that we attended and its stuck with me.

I have been afforded the luxury of meeting some really great people! Inspirational peeps! Parralel paths so to speak...very kewl stuff! It always just confirms to me...the energy you put out there is the energy that you are going to attract back! Period!
No matter what the encounter, things happen for a reason....the wise ones figure out what the reason are!
Im grateful for many, John, Dean, Judy,Sophia, Kerri, Barb, Willa, Nicole and tooooo many more people that have become part of the fabric of my life!


#3 I have seen some of the most incredible changes in people not only physically but mentally. I have been honoured to be a small part of their journeys! Wow some of the most DURTI stories ever! determined, unstoppable, relentless, tenacious and Irresistable for those of you that are going wt???? If you read this blog you should know Im all about the DURTI Spirit!!!! RIP Dennis you would have been 43 this month!! You are missed every day!!!
#4
Im still considering doin the wickham and ive taken two weeks off from hardcore dieting....LMAO maybe softer is the look...LOL!!! I still have abs...I always do a little. Hmmmm this one has got me thinkin....ahhh the lil mosquitio is at it again!!!!
Okay enuff ranting here..time to get back to work!!! Winder up and watch her go.................weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Just my humble opinion............

In my humble opinion, and the last time I checked as a Canadian citizen I'm entitled to it. This is in fact just an opinion. mine.

First off all other federations could take a few lessons from the WBFF and what it originally started out saying they wanted to accomplish! I know as a competing athlete it all
sounded so great to me! I've had many discussions with other athletes about this who agreed with me but I will humbly just speak my truths.

First off the WBFF promised a new way of looking at things! More glitz and glamour! Huge productions full of lights and entertainment! Cause lord knows and bless their supportive hearts my friends and family has snoozed their way through many a competition waiting for my five minutes of fame on the stage. 10 if I placed...LOL! I remember being so excited to hear Paul talking about the magazine coverage, photographers, sponsors etc etc!!! No more gymnasium shows.....no more two bit theatres and your five lb buckets of protein and the 50th duffle bag your used to getting filled with sponsor cast offs of all the crappy flavours that didn't sell!!! People would be entertained by some of the biggest names in the industry! Wow they would finally get there 50 bucks worth!

That Every athlete was going to be made to feel an important part of the show! That everyone would get there five minutes of fame so to speak. That even if you didn't place you might get discovered or surely be featured in a magazine. They had all the hook-ups and the contacts! It didn't matter who you trained with etc etc etc!! It all sounded so great! iVE BEEN FEATURED IN A FULL PAGE OF fIT AND fIRM MYSELF....

Well yes production wise other federations could take a lesson in PRODUCTION from the WBFF! From the athletes parade at the beginning every athlete feels like a star! Top notch venues...excellent volunteers back stage....great room set ups....lots of goodie bags and it makes you just feel special right off the hop! Entertainment that yo might see in Vegas!! Wow! Now there talking! Family and friends are happy cause its actually a show!!!!!!
From the moment you get into the athletes meeting you are giving yourself the high five for getting involved with such a top notch federation....and wow. yes indeed this is going to be different!!!
Paul speaks with such a passion for his ideas and this sport. Casts out that line and wham hook line and sinker you bite! It makes sense now why its sooooo expensive...look at the hoopla and the opportunities he is putting out there for all 200 and something usually athletes.

Wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Over the years I have bitten my tongue on more than one occasion...biding my time waiting for them to work out the kinks. Cause like any great thing and new project it doesnt always start out great . There are growing pains and twists and turns,modifications, feedback etc. Well there getting some feedback now arent they?
. It seems like...and now remember people...(it seems like to me) and just my opinion, that we've been sold a sham!
That is if you are just Jo random athlete.

It appears....now I said (appears) to me that unless you are involved in some way,shape or form with...contest.ca...status....or are the newest thing that someone on the WBFF judging panel has discovered that they think is marketable...well you might as well just have a bonfire with yur WBFF membership cards back stage with the other Jo Random athletes. Cause yur not going anywhere except home with your goody bags. Your fair shake went out the window when you weren't contected to whom you should have been connected with....

Now the rumour mill is great for stories and there allot of them out and about now....... THe WBFF is feeling the heat it would seem? and like any great public thing there is always talk. good bad or otherwise. Thats what happens when you have rock star status..no pun intended. And if you have acted with integrity and honesty it always comes out in the wash! Period.......regardless of who is saying what.

So my question is this if you have acted with integrity and honesty why would you throw in the towel? Does that mean it was all just a soap box speech with no commitment on your part?

If your judges were acting on their own thoughts and opinions without any influence, other than their unified rules and judging criteria, what would make you want to pack it in?

Sure there is the odd disgruntled athlete...lets face it any given day its anybodies game. I think we all go into it realizing that....just my opinion. Which I keep reiterating because what you are reading is just that my opinion. But this much controversy? What is happening that this is happening?

Is it a fair and impartial panel of judges with no ties to any of the athletes? Are they all certified to be judges?

Does Paul influence any of the descions?

I f he is JUST the promoter he shouldn't be??? My experience in other federations when there was an issue, a question, a complaint, a how come this happened....I was always directed to the head judge.....period! It was pretty transparent. Not always what I wanted to hear but the truth is like that.....It will set you free but usually it will rally piss you off first!


Paul spent allot of time slamming other federations...."Oh they do this and that....you should be able to compete any where you want. You shouldn't be threatened etc????? Then the last athletes
meeting I went to,well the flavour of the day was.............

..if you are awarded your pro card and you intend on competing in other federations please don't except it??? Okay so I was a lil carb depleted?? pretty sure that's what i heard though???

Did Monica give up her other Pro status? Love her by the way! Fitness Icon...a champion to many,regardless of where she fits into this tangled web! Really just a character in the whodunit of the WBFF.....
Thank Goodness for Emily Stirling, that gurl is the peoples champion on and off the stage! You cant help but love her tenacity! She is totally Determined, Unstoppable, Relentless, Tenacious and

OH so Irresistable!!! One Durti Gurl!!!!



Stay tuned for more as my brain is still processing this????

Nuts?

Okay so I wake up this morning and there is this huge squirrel outside my drawing room window. The hazelnut tree is right in front of my window when I am on the computer...seriously this tree is like an old man all narled and funky looking.I dont know why I call it an old man? its the twisted tree!
I've wondered why there hasnt been very many hazel nuts on the ground???
Because this squirrel is dillegently working away...he cruises all along the rocks john and I have literally dollied there...that was a fiasco! These huge boulders and the dolly had a flat tire...alot of swearing and alot of laughter moved those rocks! Apparently into a nice obstacle course for mr squirrel to use. It got me thinkin, he doesnt care that its gonna take him a month to tediacly move all of those nuts to his laire. He just starts plodding away...one after the other. Back and forth...back and forth...each time going to t new spot on the tree to find his lil treasures! The journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step!Some days I feel like a squirrel just tryin to get a nut....insert 80's music here!! Ive got the "power" its gettin gettin gettin kina heavy!!

LMAO!!!! There is a lesson to learn fromthe squirrel this morning....

Femsport

Wow what an anayzing journey it has been! We started camps a little late this year. I have just experienced one of the most challenging camps ever and got to be on a journey of self discovery and awakening with 9 of the most Durti Gurlz on the planet!

The first day the tasks seemed daunting to everyone! Holy crap gurlz were scared of the box....lots of saucer eyed looks and grimaced faces!! They dug in like no group I have ever seen before! They embodied the DurtiGurlz acronym and owned it proudly!

Determined, Unstoppable, Relentless, Tenacious an Irresistable.

If there was ever a hint of worry at the beginining that these gracious and beautiful women couldnt come through they showed their true colours on game day!
We walked away with second and third overall teams and second overall individual! I am honored to have been competing with such DurtiGurlz!

If you ask them how they got there they will all tell you it was with the encouragement and support of our wicked but tuff Coach John! His "Apocolypse" Femsport training camps are challenging and kick your butt! No leaning on the boards is a phrase regularly heard when you wanna yack! He challenges you to be the best you can be...and he knows just what to say to motivate you to get the lead out! Look for this guy to be leading the top of this field!
He has his own story of inspiration and comeback and is most times to humble to share this amayzing story! What an inspiration of the human spirit and what we can accomplish!!

The DurtiGurlz will also tell you that it was eachother comming together as a group...women supporting women! Encouraging and prodding eachother to be the best they can be! Exchanging those positive and encouraging sources of energy with eachother! A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle was the flavour of every day! We shone bright as individuals but we were just an amayzing bright force together!!!

Okay thats the thoughts of the CinnamonGurl today. My journey continues on now and Sandra Wickham is the destination! Stay tuned for the butt kickin workouts with The ONe and only New Ripped Freak "Dean Brandt" kicking my butt along the way!!
Cheerz!

been awhile!!

Free website - Wix.com

Been awhile since Ive been here....time flys when your busy!!
So many great things have happened since I last wrote...no time now ethier.
I will write more later I thing....LOL

Humans?

The sun is shinning, excellent! My health is awesome, great! Gym is doing well, super! Partners health is on the mend, he is inspired, wicked! Opportunitys for branching out the clothing line are popping up, nice!
So why the hell do I feel depressed today?? Hmmmm let me see...its about that time!
Every time I see a TV oil is gushing out of a hole in the sea??? Ocean life in and around it is being destroyed, not only sea life but human lives as well!! and for what? Greed, consumerisim, human stupidity.....what is it gonna take for us to realize that we are really destroying our planet? Weve forgotten that we live here? What will we do when the planet says...UMMMM ya, I've had enuff of you parasites!!! She is already...Notice how I said she..LOL...she so forgiving and she has been forgiving us for along time. Giving us so many chances....and we all know what a pissed off woman is capable of???? She is already fighting back with major disasters and house cleaning!!! I so try to do my part...I live with Captain planet also. We recycle,,,we reduse and we reuse!! We eat organic and humanely raised food etc. "Humanely raised??? that scares me.....Humans? Pftttt!
If you follow Nostradamous at all, he predicts this..."the seas will turn black"....Hmmmmmmmm?
Wow thats a bit of a heavy blog for 7am???
I think Im PMSing for sure....I know I am. I feel like the wind has been taken out of my sales latley ....I need some inspiration today.....Why do I want to keep competing?...Im gonna ponder this today!!!
I need a kick in the ass! Stay tuned!

I've been going crazi with this website stuff!
Look what i can do....only took me all day!! I tend to get a lil obsessed with things!!
Okay Im off to the gym now!!!

My new Nutrition and Personal Training site
Metamorphosis Nutrition an Personal Training

http://www.metamorphosisnutrition.com/

A woman with an opinion.....

Yup I have an opinion and I'm not afraid to say it! MY mom says Ive always marched to my own drum. Even as a kid I was never influenced by peer pressure and always did want I wanted to do.......Oh I've made mistakes..for sure!! and Ive learned a great many things!!! I was never afraid to fail.....I believed and still do I would succeed in whatever I put my mind to!

Well now the the ruffled feathers are down and the dust had settled some...I'm gonna continue my blog.

Ive been struggling the last little bit here going over in my head where am I going with this...what do I want out of it? What are my intentions?

Change federations view points...wow that seems like a daunting task! Get politically involved? Hmmmm things that make me go hmmmmmm?

My intentions have been since I started in the fitness industry is to influence people to have a better quality of life! Actually my counselling days were like that tooooo.....Most people under estimate the power of influence....and the influence they can have to EMPOWER others.....and it just gets payed forward!

My motto has been give me one of your twenty four hours in your day and I will help you to improve the quality of the other 23!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been struggling since the Kelowna show.....I guess I had to wallow around in it for a bit to figure out what and where I want to go with it.....This quote keeps sticking in my head.....If you think your tooo small to make a difference you've never tried to fall asleep with a mosquito in the room!!

I think I'm the mosquito carefully choosing it's target right now......LMAO!!!!

I've been a bit of a slacker on my eating and I am paying for it. No matter how many times I do it...for some reason the lesson doesn't stick! eat crap and you u feel like crap!!!! Its not rocket science!! Whack!!!

I had the pleasure of training with two amayzing women over the weekend....they say I inspire them. They in turn inspire me!!! Our conversations while training..well in between all of the laughter...were about self revelations they had and why they weren't doing what they know they could do!! Fears held them back....now identify those fears and push through I say...YOU don't even need to identify the fear..jsut push through it!

Your body chemistry doesn't differentiate between excitement and fear! The body systems react the same way...its our minds that put them in classifications! So I say be fearless....not careless though! Just do it..feel the fear and do it anyways!!!

For real....seriously you only get one life! It's not a dress rehearsal.....no regrets!!!

at least not for the things you tried to do....what the worst than can happen? Those are things i always ask myself...."well you could fail".....so what!!! you only fail if you quit.....Ive been back stage..seriously scared shitless....praying that i'll fall down and have a legitimate excuse not to go on stage...half naked for all the world to give there two cents about how I look!!!! And then I get out there and bam....the feeling are still there but now they are transformed because in my mind Ive transformed! Ive worked so hard for this moment....my five minutes of fame so to speak! But then it all comes rushing in.....this is jsut the tip of the ice berg and in the grand scheme of things this is the smallest piece of the pie. The rest is wow....the things I've learned along this journey and every other time are life altering! Perserverence.....determination.....how strong I am, not just in my body which is amayzing but in my mind!! How I've inspired and influenced people to change their own lives....that no matter what the circumstances I'm gonna get through it.

Ahhh here I go off on my tangents again...LMAO!!

Back to bussiness.....so..Hmmmm? WBFF featured a full pic of me in the online magazine. Very interesting...do you think they read my blog? That I said I wasn't on board with them at all? That I thought it was a joke ? I still think that and no full page pic is gonna sway me!!

Now what would sway me is an honest acknowledgement of what goes on behind closed doors. What's the motivation behind the descions that are made!!!! Interview me about my experience with them ......how about that? Give me straight up answers..now that would garner some respect back for the WBFF.

There is always gonna be sheep for organizations....I'm not one of them! I know there are always descions that NOT every body agrees with....of course there is were human..and super diverse in being human beings!....and be transparent as an organisation. Wow that would be such a relief.....you might not always agree with the descions but at least it would be honest.....I can live with that!!!

Okay here we go. I'm glad I've waited to write this. Its sinking in more and more what just occurred over the weekend! So frustrating and disappointing at the same time. I've been scouring over the pictures..looking for why I placed where I did??


At first I felt all caddy and was goin through all the nasty negative emotions and thoughts.... plus it doesn't help when you get all this mail saying hmmmmm who are you NOT sleepin with...and that is a pleasant way to put it!

Its hard when the woman that beat you was drunk the night before and was hung over competing?? That totally pissed me off!
Its not being a good ambassador for our sport. We need to promote a healthy lifestyle..a wicked work ethic..discipline etc!!! I feel like being an older competitor younger gurlz are looking to us for examples.....and the only way is by what you do!! Anyways thats my opinion and as a Canadian Citizen I'm entitled to it...LMAO!!!

I just have a hard time wrappin my head around that the descions are so political?? or are they...Im confused!!!! It has to be that I have toooo much muscle?


The WBFF show was a joke.....so many rumours and accusations of why what happened at that show happened. Not only to me but others as well??? Money issues....judges were not judges...they were given a list of names to pick from?? Three pro cards given out to bikini girls??? Why?

Pro cards given out on stage to the masters women and then taken back, back stage??? What the hell is that???? So frustrating????


I requested my scores from the first WBFF show...I got five lines or so back. Come in leaner..more pull up on your sides. I placed third that show. Okay armed with that information I improved on these things....


Okay by now if your reading this you know it fuels me this kind of stuff. So what do I do?? I came in leaner to the WBFF show..I placed lower than I did the first show??? WTF?????


Okay so I decide that federation is not for me.. Toooo much dis honesty and its who ya know etc etc. Each to their own..works for some..just not for me.


So I go to the BCABBA..looking at the BC's pics it looks like they are rewarding a body type much like mine. A little more muscle and definitely a whole lot better conditioned than what I've been seein on stage beside me at the WBFF.
No offense to anyone.....it is what it is. Just my opinion! And we put ourselves in that light..half naked on the stage....were looking for people opinions..right?

You know its weird when at two shows athletes back stage are telling you that you are winning the whole show and you don't place in the top three????
When the bodybuilders say hmmmmm? glad your not competing against me?? I'm not even in bodybuilding shape these days???? Thank you for the compliment though....lol!!!! My conditioning is awesome! Dean has been a wicked trainer and helped me to get in the best shape!

I've emailed who I think I need to email so I can get some answers~ I just need to know the reasons.....I can live with those! Somebody please tell me what it is that I don't have....or do have that is making me place where I am. I can live with those reasons.....only then can I make the desision if I want to do what its suggesting????

Too much muscle? Well I love my body and I'm not getting any smaller or losing any muscle mass..it keeps you young and moving. That's why I have it.....aging is alot easier when your body is held together by muscle. Your metabolism is more efficient!! There are many reasons to keep this hard earned muscle.

Shape? Maybe I'm not figure shaped enuff..that X shape. Well that would be easy to put on some size in my shoulders??? unless I'm too big already.....LMAO!! Does not quite having that extreme x shape score me down that low that i don't place in the top three???

Maybe I need a bigger butt.....maybe my skin needs to be dimpled?? Maybe my posing is atrocious? All those blades of mine....maybe I'm not graceful enuff??? Can ya see where my mind goes???....................Well we will see what feedback comes out of this!!

At the end of the day...I wanted my Procard eventually. Why? To promote LegareWear to the world really. To be in a position to influence many to take care of their bodies.

To never give up...no matter what life hands you. Do what you want to do...don't let anyone tell you that you cant!

Okay I'm done this rant..stay tuned! I'm not throwing in the towel yet.....Its just fuel for the fire!!! In the words of Ava Cowan.....The more you tell me NO..the harder I go!! and in the Words of Cindy Legare......I'm more Determined...Unstoppable...Relentless....Tenacious...an soon to be Irresistible to those Damn Judges!!!!! DURTI..........LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

Game on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What have I been doing this week??

Okay where have I been? This is hard to type right now..I have cinnamon spilled all over my key board...hard to shovel in the waffle fast enuff this morning! I'm friggin starvin (Lil bit of a deplete yesterday) and my jaw is sore from chewing so much gum! Cases of it....I'm gonna save it all and make a sculpture....LMAO!!

Funny story: In University my room mate and I had this gum ball machine and every day we would put our quarters in and chew gum....we were saving for a trip to Mexico. Anyways we would chew it then stick the chewed gum on the top of the machine. We built this giant chewed up gum castle! Yep we saved enuff to go to Mexico! That's a whole nother story!! ahahahhah!!

I've been literally walking around the house in high heels for the last couple of days...right before I go to bed I put them on my dresser....right when i get up I put them on. Yup all sexy in the morning...LMAO!! Hair all tussled..sleep in my eyes and I clunk down the stairs to the kitchen! Whip up my waffles in high heels. Its amayzin how much torture you can get used to then it feels normal......hmmm that makes me think of my counselling days.

It really is amayzin how much torture people get used to in their lives and they think its normal, and it becomes comfortable to them. Safe in a sick kind of way...they know what to expect!! The kidz I used to work with believed the strangest behaviours were normal.

Okay went off again..back to where have I've been??

Taking care of business so to speak! Dean said its all about you this week and I'm taking it literally....I have gone to stretch therapy which was so awesome! I'm having trouble flaring my lats....they seem to be stuck especially my right side. Paul Turner from 3 Peaks is helpin to unstick them!! He has helped with my hips toooo. Amayzing therapy!!!

Gone shopping for shoes.....I know that seems like such a standard chick thing to do but its hard for me to find shoes that fit! I have size 5 feet so no one has shoes that fit!! I have gel pads...back pieces...toes padding, arch padding...omg get my drift?? I love to shop for runners...cause I can get those in the kids section....and boots seem to be easier to fit! You cant see big socks in boots LMAO!! So I have bought and returned 4 different pairs of shoes now!! You have to take them home and put all the friggin padding in to see if there gonna work?? Okay I think I've found a pair that I can work with! So I can strut my stuff...LMAO!!!

Had my suits altered this week....Taking Sandra's advise to get the bottoms higher...so I look more hourglass like!!

I struggle a little with the whole you must do this..you have to do that?? I don't want to lose any muscle...... I have worked way to hard and tooo long to get these legs and shoulders! Conform..conform...conform....well I'm a conformist without commitment in this arena!

It really can be all illusion anyways. Don't get me wrong..you have to have the stuff to display it, but the trick is know how to display it just right.....so you appeal to 9 judges?? hahahahah that makes me laugh a little! I've been practicing, practising!!

MAKE 9 PEOPLE SEE THE SAME THING ABOUT ANOTHERS PERSONS BODY, Wow now there is a feat!! ....for real with out any political agenda getting in the way??? Hmmm judging has to be a tough job!

I'm going to stretch therapy again today...now don't go thinkin ohhh stretch therapy ..all cushy stretching.

No this is a kind of stripping of your muscles...the kind that just about brings you to screaming...and then you get this big release! I haven't quite decided if yur so relieved its not killing anymore or it actually helps???...kidding it really does help! Makes me think of those poor suckers in the Spanish inquisition on the racks......AHHHHHH!

I would of been one of them for sure! Women were torched because they thought they were witches....when really it was just intuition. If you went against what the flavour of the day religion was.... so to speak.

Its like women got oppressed, taught not to rely on our instincts and gut reactions to things!

When I believe yur guts are never wrong...its yur mind thats the messed up one! I've learned to listen to my guts....all the time!!! 99.9 % of the time they are right..its my spidy senses!

I'm going to get my nails done today.....and I got my hair streaked and cut last week! Usually I like to colour it myself but I let my hairdresser do it this time!!! Yup its been all about me!!!

I will go later today and do a light workout and then sit in the infrared sauna for 40 minutes! I love the sauna...I go in there and stretch and do abs! Then i do paperwork??? I'm a tard I know!

Got my period this week...pretty stoked about that! I was retaining water but its dissipating now. Will be right on track for the show this weekend!!

And I have spend tons of time in the bathrooms around the lower mainland because I have been consuming 6 liters or more of water everyday!! LMAO!!!! So there ya have it...that's what I've been doing!! Game on!!!!!and..............

I'm jonsing for my bike back from the shop!! Finally the oil leak will be fixed..hahahah ya right it's a harley!!! woooohoooooo!!!

Look out Kelowna...here I come!!!

Training with Ava

Wow what an inspiration!! and what a humbling experience and confidence booster all at the same time!! I felt like a "fool peacock" for a minute when I heard..... "yup at the national level now,,,you just need to jump through some hoops!!

I have much to learn!! She gave me some pointers about posing etc etc. There just wasnt enough time!!!! It went by so quick!

Ava was very genuine and authentic. What a great opportunity she has as a "Pro" and thats all she does for a living now. Very Kewl! She is the poster girl for Gaspari Nutrition!!

She gave me lots of positive feedback and compliments..I was like a deer in the headlights I think at times! I also blew her away on a few things.......we shared alot of laughs!!!

We exchanged food ideas and prep. I have a few secrets of my own I shared with her! We talked about Dean "My trainer" and how much he has helped me change up my training! How making the switch to fish has been the best thing for me....not only physically but mentally!

I'm looking forward to speaking with her more!!! That was a really great experience. I feel so motivated and inspired! I was inspired when I saw her pictures, now I'm that much more inspired having trained with her!!!!!

On a side note..not training at my own club....I so appreciate my gym toooooooooooo..........I love Fitness Fanatx!!! Our members!!!!

Thank you Ultimate Fitness for hosting training there.

I was oblivious really to my surroundings while we were training just being a sponge and trying to soak it all in...well all except the dude doing clean and jerks and pretty much dropping the weights from shoulder height to the ground??? Scared the crap out of me for a second!!!

I am so thankful I got the opportunity to train with her! Thank you to Dean and Reflex Lougheed for making it happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm one week out from Kelowna....gunning for "FIRST" for sure!!! All this hard work and commitment is paying off!! As always how could it not....just the journey alone is amayzing!! Everyday I wake up and go...are you a champion today?

The little voice inside my head says HELL YA!!!! and away I go!!!....

don't get me wrong..some days a raging battle goes on in my head!! There is that other voice in my head that I have to fight with some times!

The one that says ya right?? who are you kidding? Your to old..your toooo this your tooo that???

Then the champions voice speaks up and tells the other lil voice to shut its protein hole!!!!!!!!!!!!!! actually its a cake hole for that one!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!

Okay off I go!!!!!!!!!!!!! woooohooooo!!

Posing with Sandra.

Had a great time posing with Sandra Wickham. She is awesome! She explains things so there easy to understand and translate into the actual movement. I feel like I have two left feet most of the time and only one listens...and its my right one...LMAO!!!

Its been quite the challenge for me to learn to navigate in those shoes...and now I'm having to learn how in two different kinds of shoes because the BCABBA has different shoes than the WBFF??? Game on!!!

Its like learning to be a Barbie...not something that comes naturally to me. Sandra gave me an example person to use...LMAO. Flaunt your stuff....like your all that....unfortuanatly the persons name she used I helped out a great deal, she use to work for me and she conjurs up trashy images in my mind, the most ungrateful fake person I know.

I believe you can be super sexy without being trashy!!!!!

So that kind of through me for a bit of a loop...but then I watched Sandra and she is nothing but a class act!!! I know I have it in me, embracing that part of myself is fun! I have the sexy classy femine side to me...and she can kick your ass at the same time!!!

I'm not sure why but I think I eqaute that really Barbie stuff to weakness and victimish?? or women who are fake n trashy are manipulaters....and are really very insecure and dont believe in the power of their minds! I always think a rude awakening is around the corner....we all get old and lose our vessel that carries the real us around. ....ahhhh Im going of on a tangent here...lol!!

I've always been super independent and proud of it. I'm learning to find the balance and thats been an eye opener for me. I'm seriously enjoying the process!

We are so much more than these vessels.....and while I'm in mine I'm going to do all I can to preserve it, make it the best that I can in side and out!

Okay now where was I???

Posing? Yes....learning to spread my wings...literally! I keep trying to flex them out instead of naturally just letting them pop out...I'm tryin to force them..Hmmmm? there is a metaphor...

just let it happen! I've been practicing ......Just do it..dont spend to much time thinkin about it seems to work!! Go figure? I tend to think to much...I want perfection!...and then I realize.....or have realized imperfect some times is perfect for me!!!

I'm looking forward to next Sunday posing with Sandra again....she is such a great teacher!!

Kryptonite....

So I've decided....this is the year I'm going to keep going until I get my Pro Card!

I 've given it alot of thought. Ya I want it! and funny thing about me is.................If I want something...I go out and get it. No matter how long it takes me.....I'm stubborn like that....

I thought I wanted to get my Pro card in Bodybuilding at one time....an I might have gotten it had there been 5 people in my class instead of four when I won in Oregon...And it was not meant to be!

I didn't want to get any bigger so figure seemed like the way to go!!

At first I thought a tomboy like me wouldn't cut it as a figure gurl! Tooo Gurly!...... But I really like it...and there is something about putting on a pair of HIGH heels that just makes ya feel sexy!!! Especially when your in a bikini....lol!!!

I've mastered the walk in them....now I must master the posing!!

Goin to see a "Pro" this Sunday to get some help with it!! Sandra Wickham!

Ahhh Kryptonite you ask??? Intensity moving from exercises like dead lifts to shoulder press with squats and pull ups are my kryptonite!! Can you say.....ummm taste your breakfast a second time...all while riding the merry go round!! Yup makes me dizzy...then it pisses me off!!...which makes me train harder of course!!

I just push through till the end...whats the worst that can happen?? I could barf on Deans runners....LMAO!!!....I'm really noticing how dusty the gym mats are these days......hahahahahahahhaa!!!

Okay I'm off to do cardio and hit the sauna.....woooohooooo!!!

Okay so yesterday, I'm feeling fat?? What the hell? Preperiod is such a roller coaster for me! Every month it's so predictable...I hate everyone eqaully!! Just kidding..sort of....LMAO!!!! I havent put on any weight to speak of....I have carbs in me and am filled out a little. and have still ate pretty clean and am back on the fish diet because Im three weeks out from the show. All those doubts still somehow wiggle their way into my thoughts. I wont be ready.....ready for what I ask myself? Im ready now....whack!!!! Ahhhh the fun lil mind games we play....The mental game of this sport is the most challenging. Just keep going....no matter what! Youve set a goal now follow through is always what I tell myself. Thats the payoff in the end for me.....I did it! and I enjoy the journey to get there....even the times like now when I feel fat.....I know I dont look fat but my brain seems to be floating in fog a bit and I feel like I have this thick layer over me. Im irritated at things that normally dont phase me....my usual motto is .................is anybody dying? anybody bleeding?..Nope then we are all good!! Its so true about sweating the small stuff...and really in the grand scheme of things its all small stuff!

The trick is when I start to wind up in my mind to do alot of self talk and come back to the ground....

well id better get my butt in gear....waffles down....coffee down.....now get ready to go get your game on. Wonder what kind of challenge Dean is going to throw at me this morning???? I can't wait actually.....I get excited thinking what is he gonna throw at me today???? Although this time of the month I battle with exersice induced severe...did I say severe cramps??? That sucks!! Well seeeeeeeeeeee.............stay tuned!!!!!!

Okay I'm back. Hard to find the time to write. I need to carry a tape recorder around with me to capture all the talk in my mind. Actually I need to sleep with one by my bed because if I wake up during the night my brain starts going!!!

Its been a stressful week. Staff and members are a challenge as always! It's hard when people don't live up to your expectations. If you've never owned a business you just don't understand how it works....and you definitely don't treat it the same as you would if you owned it!
Members can be sooooo...human at times!!!! Who spits gum in the urinal??? Sum body has to fish that out....who pees in the garbage can in the tanning room??? Holy crap is it that far to walk to the bathroom????

Training can be difficult for me at times....Dean gave me grief this week about focusing.....Whacked myself in the face with the medicine ball....looking around the gym seeing what needed to be cleaned, why wasn't this done, glass is looking pretty smudged...why wasn't it clean etc etc.... Members want deals for this and that??? Hello...we have to pay hydro..phone...rent....cable....paychecks....etc etc!!!
Oh well that's my ranting for today...lol!!!
And then on the flip side I am blessed to have my own business and the perks that do come with that!! All good!!!
Dieting is going well.....I've had a couple of cheats though. I got these really great protein crunch pumpkin seed thingy's.....ummmm thanks Judy for turnin me on to them.
Funny how you can justify a cheat to yourself?? Their high protein almost no carbs...etc etc!! Its still a cheat...........I feel like someone takes over my hand and just keeps putting it into the bag and shoving them into my mouth......and then I count out the amount I've justified.....after I've already shoved one in there......What the hell???? deprivation is a great teacher ......
I think about the things people do in their lives...what are they being deprived of??? I could go off on a big tangent here...being a high risk youth counsellor for ten years.....what happens to people when they are deprived of human touch.....love......okay you get my drift.

Okay I will write more later.....Off to put up fences today.....seriously that's not a metaphor....our dogs keep getting out! Big dorks...they go next door and bug the lamas....Two rotties and an amstaff gallivanting all over the country is not a good thing. Brats!!!!

I'm hungry this morning...that's a good thing. Metabolism is running high!! My pancake went down way to easy....I didn't even wait for it to be fully cooked..was still a lil soft in the middle.
Here is the recipe for anyone interested:
1/2 c organic whole oats
1/3 c nutra cleanse
1 cup of whites
put into magic bullet....whip, if you leave this for any reason after you whip it up and don't put it in the pan right away it turns into a serious blob. The nutra cleanse expands!!!!!!
ok...assuming you having made it into a blob.....put into a hot pre heated pan. The trick to a great pancake is in the pan!! A small pan makes the best big pancake. As soon as you put the mixture in the pan turn down the heat and put a lid on it...about 10 minutes or so....
It will rise up and pop the lid off....when that happens flip over and cook another 10 minutes.
Depending on where I am in my diet I top with 1 tsp of Coconut oil.....stevia....and 1/3 cup of heated blueberries..........and cinnamon!! This is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good.
Or i will make it in the waffle iron...its makes alot of lil waffles and it feels like your eating alot!!!!!

Ahhh tasty lil treats!!!!!!

Okay off to the rain I go.............

Motivation?

Had a conversation with a friend yesterday....she is severely lacking in motivation! Some very serious things have occurred in her life and she just seems to have lost it??? Is about 13 or so weeks out from a show......

I've had those moments in my training....life sneaks up and just clothes lines you! Your like WTF????...I was going along minding my own business and whack...just takes the wind out of your sails!
You question things...why..why.why??? why the hell am I doing this to myself....all this prep..food....more prep..food train..eat...sleep...repeat??? why? You go through all the reasons why you should not continue, relationships are suffering? work could be better? Your being selfish? heaven forbid your do something just for you.....are you kidding me?

As women we seem hard wired to do everything for everyone else...we come last!

Well as I've gotten wiser.....lol notice how I didn't say older??

Your not guaranteed wisdom just because you age chronologically....you gotta do the work too!....Painful as it is sometimes! But so worth it!

Fear is it underlying all of it?????????? Hmmmm?

Okay no time to continue this at the moment....I'm meeting an old friend this morning...........someone who I made friends with at the second show I ever did!!
She is an extremely Determined, Unstoppable, Relentless, Tenacious, an Irresistable Gurl!!!!
I will continue this later!!!

Game on!!!!
Be in the moment.....plan for tomorrow but live for today!!! It's not a dress rehearsal!!!

4 weeks out!!!

Here we go...stay tuned! I'm back on the training band wagon after a disappointing placing at the WBFF show. The process leading up to the show was awesome though. And the show itself was very well run..back stage was awesome. And of course spent time with some amazing amazing athletes!!!

Back training with my trainer Dean Brandt who is kicking my butt! I love our gruelling workouts...every week I look forward to what challenges he is going to throw at me!!!

I think he has figured me out...that if I know whats coming I unconsciously hold back a little...I'm a stickler for getting through whatever is asked of me!! So when he say 500...ummmm I'm doing 500!!!

Love it,,,love it!!!!

Okay stay tuned for the adventures of the Cinnamon Gurl!!